Before-and-after examples
See our work in action
We share these examples with our clients’ permission, from publicly available documents, or with the content anonymized.
The approach you see in the second version shows you what we train writers to do in our workshops and how we edit documents.
Short examples
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Before—30 words
The Review Board has made the aforementioned determinations in order to satisfy the Board’s statutory responsibilities and to address the issues that have arisen during the investigation process to date.
After—17 words
The Review Board made these decisions to respond to issues that the investigation raised and meet our legal responsibility.
Before—51 words
By building partnerships and transferring decision-making ability to Northerners, this program delivery mechanism contributes to better aligning funds for projects with region-specific priorities, and more effectively supporting partner’s efforts towards taking actions to reduce negative impacts of climate change and variability, and taking advantage of new opportunities that may be presented.
After—50 words
The program partners with Northerners and moves decision-making authority to them. This means they can fund projects that align with their priorities and region. It also maximizes their ability to make progress with:
reducing negative effects of climate change on their communities
new opportunities and directions as they present themselves
Before —Grade level 14.9
SPECIALIZED SUPPORTS
Specialized services offer assessment, treatment and support to adults aged 18 years and over who have or are suspected of having a developmental disability. The program also supports their families, caregivers and other service providers. Specialized services help adults and their caregivers manage the challenges of daily living and develop strategies to promote a better quality of life and community participation. Specialized services also often offer workshops and groups to people in their communities.After—Grade level 8.8
What are specialized supports?
Specialized support services help adults and their caregivers manage the challenges of daily living. We find ways to help you live better and build your place in the community. We offer to assess, treat, and support adults 18 years and over who have or might have a developmental disability. We build a sense of belonging by holding workshops and support groups for people in their own communities. -
Before—77 words
While there are no local noise regulations that directly apply to construction noises, the contractors will be directed to apply reasonable mitigation to reduce possible effects Global with construction noise. These will include adequate maintenance of their construction equipment, including mufflers. Blasting activities, if required, will be timed to avoid periods when sensitive wildlife species are in the area. Prudent design, best management practices and mitigation will be combined to reduce sound levels during the construction phase.
After—57 words
Contractors will limit noise levels
There are no local noise regulations that directly apply to construction. However, we will direct contractors to mitigate noise by:avoiding blasting when sensitive wildlife species are in the area (based on recommendations from wildlife monitors and available information on wildlife behaviour)
maintaining equipment, including mufflers
using best design and management practices
Before—30 words
ABC Engineering will evaluate multiple options that will ensure maximum financial value and asset life cycle value in the investment being made to proactively repair or replace this equipment.
After—17 words
ABC Engineering will assess options for repairing or replacing the equipment based on cost and life cycle.
Before—43 words
Notwithstanding the overarching concerns related to lack of certainty and potential for serious harm set out above, the specific evidence, analysis, and conclusions related to each subject of note are set out in the subsequent chapters of this Report of EA.
After—43 words
The previous section explained our general concerns about the uncertainty and possibility of serious harm from the Project. These concerns apply to the entire report. In the rest of the report, we also analyze evidence and give conclusions on specific technical or environmental questions.
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Before—45 words
At ABC Corporation, board and workforce diversity has historically and remains today a principle that is supported by both Corporation’s board of directors (the “Board”) and senior management (“Management”), as is exhibited both by the number of women on the Board and in senior management positions.
After—23 words
We support workforce diversity at all levels. We demonstrate our commitment by the number of women on our Board and in senior management positions.
Before—53 words
You are obligated under your Personal Account Agreement to examine your bankbook/Account statements or account entries and balances using Online Banking, Telephone Banking, and/or XYZ automated bank machines and advise XYZ of errors, omissions or irregularities in your Account entries or balances within the time limits set out in that Personal Account Agreement.
After—33 words
You have a responsibility to look over your account activity and let us know if you find any errors. You must let us know within the time listed in your Personal Account Agreement.
Contract before—14 words
Recovery hereunder by the debtor shall not exceed amounts paid by the debtor hereunder.
Contract after—12 words
The amount you can recover can’t be more than what you paid.
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Before—43 words
The decision maker will be tasked with the duty of reviewing the information or evidence, hearing the oral submissions and responses to questions, and considering all evidence for the purpose of rendering a decision.
After—22 words
To decide the case fairly, the decision maker must:
hear oral submissions and responses to questions
consider all the information or evidence
Before—14 words
Recovery hereunder by the debtor shall not exceed amounts paid by the debtor hereunder.
After—12 words
The amount you can recover can’t be more than what you paid.
Before—26 words
To the extent the information you will be sending is confidential or sensitive in nature, please provide the materials in an encrypted or password protected format.
After—13 words
If you send confidential or sensitive information, please password protect or encrypt it.
Longer examples
Medical grant application
This is the lay summary from an application for grant funding. Many of the decision makers did not have a medical background. Wordsmith and the lead doctor on the project created the “after” together.
Debenture loan agreement
This is an excerpt from a loan agreement between a corporation and a lender. The original was boilerplate that had been used for years. We redrafted the section with help from the law firm that had been using the agreement and came up with the two “after” versions below.
Technical report
This is part of the executive summary of a public-facing environmental impact assessment in the Northwest Territories, Canada. Wordsmith created the revised version below for the Department of Lands as a model to:
plan for their next large environmental assessment (a years-long process)
create a structure and approach for the next big report
develop a standard for writers and reviewers of other reports
We held training sessions to support writers to follow the new model, an approach which significantly reduced time to write the document, its length, and the number of edits.
I will have the handbook on my desk whenever I am writing. The course was a good balance of practical, overarching principles, and practice.”
—Alberta Education
I appreciated the tailoring of the workshop materials to our organization, using real-time, current writing examples to analyze and improve. It was readily applicable to my work and very professionally done.”
—The Civilian Complaints and Review Commission
You’re not saying, “you should use this word rather than another word.” You put evidence right in front of us in a paragraph where we can see that something is better. It’s incredibly impressive.
—Ombudsman for Banking Services and Investments